My Repo cruise??

This cruise has been my turnaround cruise. It's almost over, but I think the attitude towards things might last. It took me a month to get into a groove on this ship.

I'm back to having my positive attitude. I know most people are probably thinking "wait a minute, her posts have been preaching how happy she was." Well, yes, my posts haven't been I hate life, no, but I've been content. Content to me isn't good enough. Even keel is not what I strive for. I've been content up until this cruise. This cruise I became happy again! I'm more positive. I've come to express me-the real Amber, finally!!

I'm having fun now, with the team too! I worked a ton this cruise, but two nights ago the whole photo team(well most of us) got together and we all danced, laughed and had a good time with each other!

I think what turned things around for me was my one post. Where I mentioned how content I was with just being this quiet lay low person.. It made realize...Amber never is just 'okay' with things. Amber, you normally are friendly, loud, and anything but conservative. I'm not that quiet lay low type person.

Another thing that's added to all of this is people who I can relate to having social issues. There are some peeps on the team that are still figuring out who they are. They are struggling with connecting with people. I understand how that feels. I went through that too!! But having them around, and I can see it clear as day; reminds me what that was like, and I refuse to go back to it.

If you are having trouble connecting with people, and can't hold a conversation when your sitting with two workers at any given time...just giving up isn't gonna help.

This is what went down: three co-workers were waiting for the rest of them team, and they sat there in silence. It was described to me as awkward. So, one just got up and left. Yeah that can happen sometimes. Social situations can be tough on certain people. I mean I get socially awkward. Most ppl don't think so, but I still see myself as that uber quiet girl just sitting there, while the party goes on around me. sometimes. I get nervous sometimes ya know. But I didn't want to be like that anymore. I made the effort to get through it tho. It sucked. Not gonna lie. Its hard. Improving, growing, and changing. It takes time, and dedication.

I just hate how this person complains, or hates what's happening, but refuses to put effort toward making changes to feel better, and make better relationships. For example, at the disco, photo team got together. We were all just chilling checking things out. We were all standing. This person wanted to sit. I didn't want to, no one else did either. So, immediately this person isolates themselves by sitting down. Refused to hang out with us. I look over not 5 minutes later and they're gone. Come on dude. Later on, I was talking with this person, and of course the complaining came. I just said, "You gave it 5 minutes. You didn't even give the disco, or the team a chance. You just left. You didn't even try to hang out with us." Needless to say they weren't to happy with me. Sorry, I know what its like going through that, and if you don't want to make the effort I'm not going to feel sorry for you. Especially after I invite you out all the time as well.

I guess every person is different. And social issues are a big thing if someone has these problems. I'm aware it can be tougher for some than others. Effort is a big thing to me. If you don't even try, (now this is only when a person complains, and wants to change, and just isn't happy) it really frustrates me, and annoys me. If you won't even help your self don't expect me too.