The Countdown has Begun

Well… like the title of my entry, it started. I avoided counting down cruises, but now I have started the countdown.

3 Hawai’I cruises left, and 2 Alaska’s.

I am excited to go to Alaska. I am sad that I am leaving Hawai’I, but I am eager to go home, and get the fuck off this ship.

I am tired of being chased after, fighting people off, dealing with moody bitches, people’s mood swings (as well as my own,) people leaving me, missing people, having nothing to do on sea days, looking forward to stupid things that shouldn’t make me happy, giving advise to girls that are whores, and man-whores as well. ugh. Oh and I forgot to mention paying crazy amounts of money to go on the Internet, and calling my family!

Sorry there was a bit of complaining there.

I mean… really… I have turned into a person that craves…media. Crazy right. I crave new books, new music, and movies…like mad. I feel like I am super isolated. Like I’m not apart of the world. It’s weird. I am seeing more of the world, but don’t feel part of it??

To be honest, it’s more the shiplife, than my job. I mean if you have been following you’ll get what I mean. I absolutely love my job, except the fact on seas days I have fuck all to do. I love going out (off the damn ship) in port and doing all these crazy cool things. Than hiding in my editing suite…using that as an excuse NOT to drink and Party.

***side note, My mother gave me the lecture, she’s worried I am drinking and partying too much, I guess I am ..for me. I’m not a big drinker to begin with they know this. When I left Buffalo the bar scene just died out for me I was tired of it. good lord I almost settled and got married for goodness sake. But on ships everything is magnified and to the max!! She was worried that I got back to partying all crazy like. “I thought the partying was behind you,” she says. (my mom is ready for me to settle down and have babies)On ships….this is what I mean- everyone resorts to drinking. Most need something to do, others need it to chill out and de-stress so they don’t strangle the fuck out of someone (like me.) Once I’m home I probably wont want a drop***

So, back to my job…Love it…ship life…not so much. But I guess me saying this isn’t saying much cause I am a bit socially challenged I guess you can say. I just don’t like hanging with fake people. I can’t tolerate the loud obnoxious bitches. If I can find and hang with quality people than shiplife isn’t bad at all, they are all leaving. Right now I am mentally too lazy to get to know new people. To be quite honest, connecting with people is really amazing, but once they leave- fuck sake it sucks.

The point I am at now: exhausted from my first contract (and its not even over yet.) This cruise I haven’t hit my low yet, which is good. I usually have this weird mood the first few sea days. It didn’t occur this time around so I find that as a good sign. I am more even keel this cruise.

3 Hawai’i, 2 Alaska- than Home. ☺ I am looking forward to hanging with my family. And getting back to something familiar, and loyal. I guess loyal is a weird word, but I just want to be around people I know care about me…seriously without agendas, or because they have to tolerate me. Family and friends that are great to me. ☺

I feel like I shed such a negative light on the people that do ships. I think what is fair to say is that there are really, really great people that you meet, as well as people that really fucking suck that have the morals of a damn fork for god sake. You always get both wherever you go.

Its funny that I am viewing the people in such a way cause I wanted to join ships to see new places, things, and PEOPLE. I def got my fair share of all of that. I appreciate all that I am learning about people. This is an experience for sure. I wouldn’t undo this if I had the option. The good def outweighs the bad in the end.

I am eager to find out my next ship, I’ll find out next month apparently…maybe earlier. The first contract is the hardest, cause you don’t know what to expect. Next contract I’ll be a bit smarter about everything. Hopefully I’ll have a better itinerary next time around.


jen: our roadtrip is gonna be the shit! I cannot wait!!