Well I guess its kinda hard to call this my cruise ship job blog anymore. I know I have threatened before about leaving Princess, but I think I already did.
I got off the Sea Princess Nov 12th. I spent two weeks at home. Visited some friends. I try to get everybody in, but I also went to NY for an interview. So I wasn't in Buffalo the entire time. I did get to meet up with Mary. She's close to the city, which is nice :-)
I asked Princess what my next ship would be. They didnt have one till April. ok... What the hell am I supposed to do for a job till then? Ships, I don't care for. I am not wasting my creative potential on them anymore, or waiting around for a call to join a crappy ship in the Caribbean. F-that! Because I am an American I'll probably be put on the "make sure she gets an Alaskan Ship" list. Well, Amber didn't sign up for just traveling to 3 cities in Alaska.
So, there was no better time to make my film career work!
I knew I wanted to go there my last contract, but love got in the way. Hell, I don't regret going to India, not one bit. I don't know when I've ever get to go again. It was an experience of a lifetime. Some of my family will never understand.
But back to NY.
I didn't take my car for obvious reasons. I took the bus there. I wasn't excited to move to NYC. I don't know why. I was nervous. I was a little worried. Not scared. Maybe, because I really want to move back to LA. I got excited once I saw the NYC skyline though. :-)
I live in the Bronx. When I told my friend Josh. He was shocked. I guess the Bronx has a bad rep. I like it though. I'm not scared, or feel threatened. I wouldn't want to live right in the city.It doesn't take me long to get to the city. My main job I came here for is right in Clesea. It's much more expensive to live there. I like where I am. I like the lady that rents to me too. She's really helpful. I never see my roommates either. I saw one, once.
Well, the job Front. I pretty much am hired at this commercial company, but it officially starts in the new year. Full time, 9-5 job. I get to edit/produce commericals. The first is tomorrow for Rolls Royce. Pretty sweet. There's a lot of clients that we have that blew me away. This would be great for me to keep considering it's steady.
My problem: I don't want to be an editor. I dont mind it, I like the end result, and all that, but I want get more into leading productions. I want to be a 1st AD. I need to get back in the feature film circuit. I hate that I went to ships. I loved the traveling, but it did nothing for my career. Except give me more experience in an area I do not want to be in. I thought I wanted to go further in camera. I came to realize I really want to start being a leader. I want to be a 1st AD. I seen some great ones in action thinking "I wanna do that!". I've also seen some really bad ones thinking "Man, I can do a much better job."
I came to NYC being "ok" with the job that I was moving for. NYC does something to you. My ambitions went right where they use to be like when I moved to LA. My ambitions came back with a vengeance. I Understand what my sister meant by "it feels like you've given up on your dreams." Now, the conversation was pertaining to the guy I was with. It wasn't the guy. It was the job I had. I still had a lot of stuff on my mind with what I wanted to do, but I felt kinda ... not completely with it. I didn't realize by how much.
So my plan: work my way up. Get what I want. I have to go after it. I don't have this settle for less attitude. I cant. I have to make this work. I know I am sharp. I know I have killer skills on set. I know it. I may sound like I have an ego, but I know I can kill it. I will work at it hard as hell here, try and get my network built. One obstacle is that I don't know anyone yet.Its only been a week. Gotta make it work.
Starting out in NYC is UBER hard. The vibe is this strict don't-fuck-with-me kinda thing. Which is fine, cause anyone that knows me knows I fit into that. The subway, easy to get. Everyone said its tough, but I had no problems. Just read the signs. Look at a map if you don't know the area. Common sense, kinda thing. I got pissed the first night. I bought a monthly metro-card pass, and the damn machine charged me like 3 times! It took 4 days to clear. For some ppl that might put them into a serious bind. Things are a bit more expensive. Common things like hygiene items. Food is too. Luckily I eat simple.
It does get pretty lonely, I don't no anyone just yet. Its only been a week though, ya know? It takes time. It's nice to have a few friends here. Josh and I have hung out a few times. It keeps me social. I hope to meet up with others as well. I will meet more, and more ppl as I go for sure. No doubt about that.
Being here, yeah it tough. Everyone here is here because they have some dream. Everyone here. Everyone here has ambitious dreams. They will do what they have to do. But some fall through the cracks. Some give up. Some you end up being better than. Some slow down the chase after awhile. Hell, some are better than me, but they ain't stopping me. Getting here, was half the battle. A lot of people that have dreams, and say "oh, I am gonna move to NYC/LA and I am gonna make my dreams come true." Well some of those ppl are making excuses why they cant make the move. They have doubts. they wont take the risk. You gotta try. Take the risk no matter what. If your career and dreams mean anything, you have to. Some might even be scared. You can't be. Fear is just not a possibility.
As long as you know your goals, and you work towards them, I admire and believe in you!
I will let you know how things work out. :-)