Ok I have to address this, it actually is a big part of ship life.
Now people have their home lives, family friends back home which usually have no idea what ship life is about. No one does until you do it yourself really.
Well I guess I made a major decision. I took a break from a relationship I was in. I won’t discuss details about it all, but the back lash I am getting from back home is quite surprising.
Ship life makes you question stuff. At least I am questioning things, my life, what I want, everything.
The only thing I am clear about is what I want in my career. As far as relationships…not really sure.
One thing you hear when you get on board is how you meet so many people. Which is absolutely true. Quality is another matter. You may find yourself liking someone, falling love, meeting the person you want to marry, or you may realize who ever you broke if off with back home before you got to the ship is that one you really want to be with. You may even become a person you never thought you could be. It can be better or worse.
Simply put…YOU CHANGE. It could be major changes, it could be just little things. You also REALIZE certain things you didn’t before.
One thing I notice is I want to be sure. I want to be sure about what I get myself into.
I have always been a person to just kinda …walk away from things, like for example if it is something I don’t really wanna do I wont make a big fuss and be like no -no fuck that I’m not doing that, I’ll just do it cause it makes someone else happy. Well that has changed since being here.
Anything I am unsure of I am taking a stand and saying No. If its something that I don’t want I say No I’m not doing that. It can be major things or little things. It could be some scum bag trying to get me to his cabin, it could be someone saying have another beer. Again big and little thing.
DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, not because anyone else wants you to just to make them happy.
Ship life you can be taken advantage of, your feelings can be hurt, used and abused. You fall quickly in and of love, you hate people, you have fun, you may become part of a game play, there are so many things you go through. This is why I say shiplife is real. We’re real people with real feelings.
Some people on the ship like to think Ship life is a joke and not reality.
Some people use ship life to be their real selves. Cause on land you are meant to be a certain kind of person. For example, I know people on board who would never sleep around with 4 or 5 different people a week on land…on a ship no holds bar my friend. It becomes a free for all. I guess you can get away with a lot on a ship. And this is why some people don’t think of it as reality.
So what am I saying with all of this??
Well I made a decision to give myself time to think about what I want out of my life as far as after I’m done with ships goes. People back home are struggling with that.
I guess I should be upset with some of the stuff people are saying to me, and that, but I’m mellow. I’m here on a ship still. I guess I can take it in as I want. If I decide not to answer my emails, I don’t have to ya know. I can avoid the backlash if I want really- is what I’m saying. I can still take time for me.
Ship life challenges the person you are, only by actually showing you the person you really are, and what you are capable of doing.
The close proximity only lets you hide in so many places for only a short amount of little time.
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well the thing i find hard to get my head round is how people say this isnt real life , .we are working , we have cause and effect , action and reaction , conciquence .
ReplyDeletethis for me will be my career im hopeing that if all goes well i will have my own ship one day (as in exec chef of the ship), i have worked my career up to this point to go in at such a level so has to be able to make ground straight away rather than have to back track if that makes sense .im single but not the messin around type ( i have been single for 1 year and am enjoying the fact that iam and re learning that it is actully ok to be single and have no stigma with it , being busy at work does help but being able to enjoy me time with out being selfish .
im lucky to the fact that im a only child and have no immediate family so missing them on festive days isnt a issue and getting caught up in the back lash as you say isnt going to be a factor , i have 3 mates that are better than brothers and tighter than family , they will be hard to say good bye to .
ultimatly my goal on the ship is progression fueld by ambition.
i can see than in the next weeks ahead a lot of what you say will be ringing in my ears like bells in a church tower .... and i think that finding your blog is the equivilant of the holly grail for me at the moment , and i intend to drink my fill from it .
thanks amber