Downhill

It’s the second sea day and my mood is definitely coming down. I’m okay though. I am finally caught up on edits. I finished two just a little while ago. I’m doing Stephen’s 50’s night for him. I don’t want to but I figure what the hell else is there to do. Lol

I had a lot of social interaction today. Usually when I talk to a lot of different people my mood is usually better. I was getting a bit bummed out while editing. I’m getting bored. Seas days are slower for us. That’s why I don’t mind doing 50’s night. 50’s night is usually fun to shoot anyway.

Lately, even being that I still have 4.5 months left on this contract I find myself thinking about what am I gonna do after this job. It totally sucked finding camera work on land. Ugh. I loved working for Vicki, and doing the reality show with Mary and that crew was amazing!! But it can’t pay the bills just quite. I hope this helps me find work when I’m ready to stop working on ships.

Also I had a conversation last night with Claire. She is one of the photogs that is leaving at the end of this cruise. She has done 5 contracts. She lives doing this. But she mentioned how she’ll probably keep doing it seeing she hasn’t found a partner yet. This whole concept just really confuses me. She says she doesn’t do this to look for the one, so does that mean that she’ll leave once she finds a partner? I don’t know I just don’t get it. Lol I never do anything that revolves finding someone, or being with someone. I’ve never been that way. Like when I went to Australia, my boyfriend didn’t like it but I do what I want to do to. I wanted to go to Australia since I could remember I’m not going to miss out on the opportunity cause oh my boyfriend is gonna miss me. Just like moving to LA. Yeah I left my family and boyfriend, but I still have to do what I have to do that makes me happy, and hopefully improve my career. It’s the same with my joining the cruise ship. I did it cause one I needed a job, two because I get to fill my craving for traveling and three cause when will I ever get the opportunity. I’m not gonna go because craig will miss me. He’d think I was stupid. I know he misses me but he knows he’d probably do the same if it were him. I just think making and basing decisions on whether you’re with someone or not isn’t too smart. That’s when you start sliding into the category of “oh I should have done this” or “I could have done that.” NO you were stupid and decided to just do nothing, and continue living that boring life.

People are afraid being alone. I think that’s what it comes down to. Yeah I want a soul mate too, but it if that person doesn’t fit my lifestyle and cant understand why I do what I do than I don’t think I should be with him. Thankfully I am with someone that does understand me, and how I operate. He doesn’t restrict saying I need to stay by his side 24-7. If he started things like that it wouldn’t work out to well. lol.


I did get good news today. My edits and camera work has gotten a lot of compliments. The management has noticed how much I improved in one cruise. Stephen told me today that I showed like 95% improvement with everything. That made me happy. ☺