My worst day

Sorry that I haven't written in a few days. It's expensive to be on the internet....especially since I am still broke. 

So, it has been about a week since I’ve been on board, and we ported in Ensenada, Mexico. I got my Laminex the other day, and I was hungover as ever. I had to get it at 930am. I hate drinking, and that’s all there is to do socially on this damn ship.

I have not had a good day today. It’s been a week, and I’m homesick?? That the fuck is wrong with you Amber? Ask my parents I never get homesick. It’s hard for me to miss anything. I was talking about Buffalo actually. It probably stems from that. Christmas is 6 days away ☹ I’m too much of a Buffalo Girl I guess. I miss the snow.

I miss my family sooo much. I miss Craig insanely. ☹ My mom sent me pics of my niece and nephews, and I was so excited to get pics of them. They were cute as always.
Ya know I am sooooo sick of people telling me here on this damn ship that I wouldn’t be on here doing a cruise if Craig, and I were meant to be. I DON’T GET IT! I didn’t come here to look for a soul mate!! I’m not here to fucking scope out guys. I already have mine. ☺ I came here for this wonderful job opportunity.

What really is bothering me is how I’m pretty on my own here. I didn’t port because I was tired, I didn’t feel like doing it by myself. I don’t know People that well to be bothering them and being like “hey can I tag along to whatever while we’re in Ensenada?” I keep thinking Christmas and New years is gonna be the same way. ☹ I’ve always had good holidays. This might be my first shitty holiday season.

Also GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT BEING FRIENDS MEANS!!!!!!! I can’t stand it. What part of I’m involved with someone don’t you understand?! It’s the whole being away from him that throws people. They’re thinking “oh well she’s here, and it obviously doesn’t mean much cause she wouldn’t be here if it were that strong of a relationship.” That’s a mindset I can’t wrap my head around. Now I pretty much have to be a bitch to this guy, and say look you don’t get it so stay away from me. I hate how things have to come to that.

I love my job. I get to do camera work, edit, and design flyers. I love it. I honestly love my job. I fucking hate this small town Bullshit. I am so sick of the dirty looks girls give me for no reason. Like seriously I’ve been on board for a week, what did I possibly do to you? I actually made it known to one girl that I wasn’t a little innocent naïve girl. I don’t care who you are. You’re not gonna be a bitch for me…especially if it is unwarranted. “Like do we have a problem?” ok, cause I was just checking.

My roommate and I are talking a lil more now. I actually feel a lil more comfortable now. The photo Dept…..Oy…What can I say? Its hard getting in with them. They are the most unwelcoming bunch ever. It’s taking time, but at least there is some progress.

I actually feel a ton better after getting all that out.